Bright and early for a clash at Anfield! One of the greatest fixtures in football, Manchester United and Liverpool. Hope you enjoy my perspective on things! Continue reading
Ya know, sometimes life kicks you when you’re down. Bad days get worse, relationships fail, etc. So, I’m going to combine the two best feel-good solutions into one post. 1. Football (obviously) 2. Watching someone fail. Particularly someone who doesn’t fail very often; to help brighten your statistically, most likely, miserable day. Continue reading
We’ll probably need to do this again in a few weeks.
The EPL season is upon us, and there are still so many unanswered questions. Will Real Madrid, in a last-ditch effort to extract Bale from Spurs, drive a dump truck full of money to Daniel Levy’s house? Will Manchester United continue its summer-long quest for Cesc? Is Yaya Sanogo really the splashy big-name signing Arsenal had in mind? Who’s going to take advantage of the Anzhi fire sale? And, where, oh, where, is Luis Suarez going to snack next?
With all these important questions to be determined in the last few weeks of the transfer window, we went with what we had, and made some bold, start-of-the-season predictions, including what will be, for many of us, a season-long celebration of Stoke’s impending relegation. (We believe in Mark Hughes!)
From a lot of your FourFiveTwo staff, along with team affiliations, so you can get acquainted with us all over again:
What does your ‘keeper do? Make saves? Hah! Please…
Serie D side in Italy Delta Porto Tolle now have to endure this mother nature induced hilarity for as long as they live. Ah technology.
We had a sniff at this a few months ago via leaks on the Internets, but we didn’t think it was real, just because it was so, so awful. We’re talking, of course, about Liverpool’s new away kit and third kit designs for the 2013-14 season. Remember this awesomeness floating around a few months back?
Well, they appear to be real! Or, at least that delightful white one’s what they’ll wear outside Anfield. Here’s how Liverpool’s choosing to play up the new away kit reveal on the team’s official site, to see where Warrior went with inspiration from Liverpool kits of yore.
And here’s the video of the “fashion shoot” you need to watch immediately, to get some fantastic glimpses of Gerrard lamenting a season in these, and Pepe Reina and Luis Suarez fantasizing about their imminent departures. And also, what it looks like to tuck in one of these bad boys in, trying to align the bird-scat-diamond-patterns on the belly just so with the matching bird-scat-diamond-patterns on the sidewall of the shorts.
And in a social media move they may regret, the club’s encouraging fans (and Everton trolls everywhere, plus everyone who hates Liverpool) to hashtag their thoughts on the new kits with the #riseuplfc hashtag. Our favorites so far include:
@kickTV: The moment Suarez decided it was time to leave Liverpool? RT @WARRIOR_FTBL: 2013/14 Warrior @LFC away kit. #RiseUpLFC pic.twitter.com/xW32yqQQYU
@vococh: Good God. Hoped the new #LFC away kit was a joke. Alas, it’s all over the official site. Rise up? Throw up, more like. Horrible. #RiseUpLFC
@hannatron: This is the year I don’t buy a Liverpool shirt. It’s disgusting. Looks like a Man U shirt #riseuplfc
@declangordon8: #RiseUpLFC if warrior produces another bad kit next season I’m becoming an Everton fan
The best part is that, arguably, the third kit’s even worse, and the rollout for that promises to be equally if not even more hilarious — as that could be in possible contention for worst jersey even, rivaling the Hull Porn Rug Tiger from 1992, the Norwich Pigeon-Shit-Means-Good-Luck wonderwork (also from 1992), and anything worn by Campos the Clown, especially when rocking this font.
But there’s only one answer to the question, “What’s the worst jersey of all time?”
Please, please, please, let Warrior at the Colorado Rapids jerseys. We need a Caribous revival. We need to see what Warrior would do with fringe.
As with many other soccer websites, it’s retrospective time here at FourFiveTwo. The 2012-13 EPL season is over. Some, like SB Nation’s Kevin McCauley, are saying “Smell ya later” to the season. (Note: McCauley’s a Spurs fan). It wasn’t even unicorns and chocolate fountains for United fans, who got to celebrate a title victory, but then Sir Alex decided to quit while he was ahead, and the last few weeks of the United season turned into a wistful SAF retrospective where all United fans found the room a bit dusty.
There wasn’t the frenzied last day of action and suspense that there was last year, that’s for sure. At the top of the table, it played out the way many figured it would — those shirts celebrating Championship #20 for United that were prematurely printed last year are now marketable and relevant. Arsenal’s won fourth place yet again (and finished ahead of Spurs for 18 straight years). Chelsea ended up third, after a confusing season in which fans thought they’d win the league with Di Matteo as manager, saw him sacked, saw Benitez and Torres combining forces and assumed the worst, and yet, for all the 16th minute salutes and the Spanish waiter jokes and the hand-wringing and teeth-gnashing, it turns out that Chelsea has Champions League talent on-board. Meanwhile, City proved the bitter sports adage that “second place is the first loser” — especially given City’s exalted new expectations — in both the Prem League race and the FA Cup. (And, now with Balotelli and Mancini both out, how are we possibly supposed to enjoy watching City?)
The bottom of the table wasn’t that much fun either. QPR and Reading had clear paths to relegation by the time the January transfer window rolled around — QPR tried to spend their way out of disaster, while Reading just tried to rely on grit, determination, and Pavel Pogrebnyak. Neither approach worked. Arguably, aside from the Arsenal vs. Spurs scrap for fourth, the league’s last bit of fun came the week before the season ended, when Wigan won the FA Cup and was then relegated within three days. Villa and Newcastle did their best to make relegation drama happen, but in the end, five teams avoided the drop zone by landing in the 39-42 point range, compared to Wigan’s 36.
Along the way, Swansea and Bradford reaching the Capital One Cup made for two delightful surprises in one, comically-coiffed players like Fellaini and David Luiz had breakout seasons, Berbatov became the one compelling reason to watch Fulham matches, Gareth Bale celebrated 21 league goals by making a heart with his hands, and Eden Hazard kicked a ball boy.
But none of those players made the FourFiveTwo Starting XI — which, for our purposes, consists of a goalie, four defenders, a midfielder, a false nine, and four forwards. (Forwards are more fun to talk about this year.) When it comes to entertainment value, and encompassing some of the glorious lowlights of the 12-13 EPL season, these are this year’s top, top lads.