Sad news for the cocaine trade as top customer Diego Maradona has been fired
from his position as manager of Al Wasl. Futures on the narcotic plunged as news echoed around the world that the former striker was forced out of yet another job after a disappointing season.
An unnamed source in the UAE drug trade said, “This is simply a tragedy. We had been expanding business on the back of our profits from Diego. Now we are going to be hit by massive layoffs, and the police are going to be upset that their bribes are going to come to an end. I am extremely disappointed in Al Wasl’s decision to terminate their manager.”
Officials with the Dubai police department could not be reached for comment.
The UAE has some of the world’s strictest drug laws, but this has not stopped thousands of dollars worth of product from flowing into the country. The arrival of Maradona and his entourage caused a rumored 50% spike in business. Even banks saw an increase in business, after all every druggie knows that American dollar bills are the best items for snorting.
Al Wasl finished 8th in the 12 team during Maradona’s only season in charge. The club was unable to win any trophies, and lost in penalties to the Bahrain club Al Muharraq in the GCC Club Championship after holding a first leg lead of 3-1. The club has already begun the search for replacements, and 4-5 candidates are supposedly the focus of this search.
The Argentinean has had a troubled time in his new job. Continuing from where he left off with Argentina, Maradona has berated the fans, the press, and even his own players. To him there appeared to be nothing more he could do with the team, and was disappointed with the lack of quality players. There was also some nonsense about confronting fans, but my guess is one of them was his dealer.
When reached for comment, Maradona appeared shocked and confused, but that could have been the drug high. Despite being soundly fired, Maradona seems to feel like this is merely a blip in the road with Al Wasl. He wants to sit down and talk with the club about continuing as manager.
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