Category Archives: CSKA London

Daydrinker’s Five: Biting Edition

So, what will the pundits be talking about this weekend, other than the Suarez Snack of Shame? Wynalda might not talk about anything else, and Darke and Macca spent a lot of the ESPN2 pre-game discussing a Liverpool-less future for Sir Bites-A-Lot, but here are some of the other things they could/should talk about.

Arsenal’s championship guard for United. With the league wrapped up well before the last day of the season (unlike last year’s wild and eminently more watchable ride), we’ll get the dubious tradition of the non-title-winning team clapping for the league champs. In this case, it’s watching RVP beaming about a league trophy, at the Emirates, the first year after leaving the Emirates. As an Arsenal fan, how does it feel? It feels like your boss gave the jerk in Sales with the perfect hair a bunch of really good leads, he went into Always Be Closing Mode, and you have to pretend to like him as you congratulate him for getting Employee of the Month as you fantasize about keying his car. The championship guard, as a tradition, blows.

Wigla. From now until their last game of the season, we’re likely to talk about Wigan and Villa together as they jockey for 17th and 18th place. Except, of course, when we talk about Wigan’s improbable journey to the FA Cup finals, where we can thank the Latics for blocking Millwall’s path to the FA Cup final.

The Relegation Six-Pointer that could have been. QPR plays Reading in a game that doesn’t have the drama it could have had in the relegation fight, simply because both teams are just that horribly and resolutely in the drop zone. There aren’t even many players worth poaching, unless you’re a fan of overpaid defenders pried from Anzhi Makhachkala.

Playing for second place. Regardless of how Man City does against West Ham this morning, expect contrasts to be drawn between the efficiently managed and quietly dominant United, and the boatload-of-strikers dysfunctional fantasy team that is City. The first half has been typical City — Aguero and Yaya Toure are showing up, Tevez is a black hole, Gareth Barry is getting trucked, Nasri is pouting, and David Silva’s doing a lot of rolling around and holding body parts.

The race for third (and fourth). Assuming City doesn’t entirely tank — and surely, none of us at FourFiveTwo are rooting for that — we’ll be looking at the next four teams in the table and projecting how they’ll finish. Arsenal’s toughest match remaining this season will be tomorrow’s RVP Lovefest (note to Sir Alex: This would be a great game to see what kind of striker you have in Welbeck), Spurs play the FA Cup Finalist half of Wigla (not their toughest game), Zorres and company host Swansea at Stamford Bridge, and Everton hosts Fulham, a game for which we have nothing witty to say, because it’s Everton hosting Fulham.

Looking Up At The Bottom: Dying Throes Edition

Ah, spring. The time of year that brings warmer temperatures, flowers, the twittering of birds … and the crushing of dreams as three unlucky groups of EPL fan bases find themselves unceremoniously dumped into the Championship League and trying to figure out what “nPower” is. It’s getting close to the end of the season, and the fuzziness that was there back in January (specifically, with ‘Arry trying to buy his way out of relegation with QPR’s millions) is clearing up …

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Top Soccer Moments of 2012

Tonight we close the books on 2012, and it has been a pretty crazy year in soccer. From the Luis Suarez racism affair to Manchester City winning the title, there have been highs and lows, unless you are Manchester United and City, they just had highs. In typical Four Five Two fashion, we have compiled our top ten list of moments in soccer. Enjoy your evening and make sure you don’t drink too much champagne.

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Too Soon, Mr. Abramovich?

In a span of 48 hours, Chelsea has sacked Roberto Di Matteo and hired on Rafael Benítez as their new interim manager. (Sound familiar?) As far as my knowledge extends me, not too many blues fans are particularly happy about this. They consider Robbie to be a legend as a player and a poor bastard (using my own Yankee generalization term) who didn’t get a fair shake as their manager. All in all, a person with a huge devotion and a contribution to the club that was cut short.

Enough about the self pitying Chelsea fans, and on to the lingering question. Does Roman Abramovich expect too much out of managers in too small of a time span? Some question if he’s the worst owner in football right now. Looking at the revolving door of managers, the racist, ill-respectable, hard-headed players not doing their job and, well, the £50 million, can’t find the back of the net with a private investigator players, those particular pundits could be onto something.

Look at Sir Alex Ferguson for example. Ferguson was given the management job at Old Trafford in 1986 but, didn’t win a single trophy until 1989, the FA Cup, and had some bottom-table finishes. Speculations were that he was almost sacked and most likely would have been if not for that trophy. It was a slow and rocky build up, but look at what all he’s achieved since then. Most notably knocking Liverpool off of their pedestal and making United the dominant force in English football. I’m now going to recede from blowing your mind with some of the history of the legendary man and get to the point. The long term managers seem to be the ones who produce the best results, regardless of some bumps or even holes in the road.

José Mourinho, “The Special One” was Chelsea’s most successful manager with a win record of 70.81% and a total goal difference of +211. the man saw Didier Drogba being brought to Stamford Bridge and under his management, Chelsea set the record for most points accumulated in a season (95) and fewest goals conceded (15) to name a few things. After all this, the relationship between Mourinho and Abramovich fell to shit (no real surprise, the Russian doesn’t play well with others) and after some setbacks, Mourinho was sacked, his time in the hot-seat only lasting from 2007-2009. I think I can hear him laughing every time he flips on the telly and hears something about Chelsea’s woes.

Perhaps the big Russian crook would do well to find a decent manager, basically someone who’s as unlike AVB as possible, someone who can get the players’ heads out of their arses (if that’s even possible at this point) and throw together a team that looks at long term results.

With all that, I think it goes without saying that Mr. Abramovich is another recipient of the Barton Award.

When our Four-Five-Two insider gave the news to Abramovich, he got no response, just this look.

A Random Mish-Mash Of Transfer Rumors!

This is in no way related. It’s just funny, and true.

Nicolas Anelka is rumored to have had enough of life at Shanghai Shenhua (No real surprise there.) and is looking to go back to Anfield where he enjoyed a successful loan spell in 2002. West Ham United and Queens Park Rangers are apparently also looking into the Frenchman, but he’s adamant that he would prefer to go back to Liverpool.

Joey Barton seems to be enjoying his time in Marseille, wanting to turn his loan spell into a more permanent gig. Barton is quoted saying: ”If I were the one to decide, I’d stay at Marseille.”  I personally think it would be interesting to see how the French will react when he goes all Joey Barton on someone.

Sandro is reported to be a target of Manchester United. United however are weary of their chances of convincing Daniel Levy to let the Brazilian midfielder at Tottenham Hotspur go.

Luiz Adriano has raised some eyebrows with his performances against CSKA London aka, Chelsea with Shakhtar Donestk. He has been linked with a move to LOL-pool and Arsenal and Tottenham are reportedly interested as well.

Ashley Cole has an expiring contract with Chelsea, he’s also a victim of the over 30 rule that was recently instated. He’s been linked with a free move to PSG however, Real Madrid have thrown their hats in the ring.

Wilfried Bony is woo-ing Chelsea, reports say, to the point that Michael Emenalo (Chelsea’s sporting director) has been travelling to the Netherlands to watch Bony play for Vitesse Arnhem and. Wilfried is quoted saying it would be “an honor” to play for Chelsea. The London based club is prepared to make an £8 million bid (Yes, he is a forward.)

Chelsea are also eyeing Fluminese’s full-back Wallace and PSV Eindhoven’s Riecheldy Bazoer only to never play them and eventually sell them to mid-ranking sides in La Liga.

West Ham are looking into Zurich’s midfielder Izet Hajrovic.

Mario Balotelli might just make a move back to his home country of Italy. Manchester United defender Patrice Evra has said ”Mario really misses Italy. I don’t know if he will stay in Manchester because he wants to return to his country. I’m not his agent – I am only telling you how he feels.” sometime after the Italy-France match in Parma, Italy. According to The Sun, Mancini will happily sell the striker to either of the Milan clubs or anyone else who wants him, and then offset the loss by buying Radamel Falcao from Atlético Madrid.

Christian Benteke has spoken out about the club that he adores. Only, it’s not Aston Villa. The striker has been quoted saying this: “Arsenal are the club I love” and following up with: “I’m not afraid of making enemies at Villa by saying I love Arsenal. One can say worse things.” 

Speaking of Villa, the now bench-warming keeper Shay Given has come out and said “I would love to play for Celtic.” Those two statements might just be personal insights and nothing more but, who knows.

Also on Villa’s shopping list is Maribor striker Robert Beric and Wilfried Bony (Where have I heard that name before? And why do I think Villa won’t be able to compete with big money to make him want to join?)

Speculations say that Arsenal would be more than happy to relieve Edin Dzeko from Manchester City (Or, Money City, if you will.) Arsène Wenger is also eyeing Alvaro Morata of Real Madrid, Will Hughes of Derby county, Liam Trotter of Ipswich Town (Going for the youngsters, eh?) and Wilfried Zaha of Crystal Palace. (Who isn’t?)

The gunners and scousers are looking to make a trade, swapping Raheem Stirling and Theo Walcott after both players made wage demands that their clubs are refusing to meet. (Raising children is expensive at 17, eh Raheem?)

David Beckham has been linked with a move to New York from LA however, representatives of Beckham have been in talks with clubs from the Australian A-League. (A Beckham-Heskey match up would be pretty interesting.)

Money City are also looking to rid Conor Hunte of all that Cockney slang going through his head at Chelsea. I’d call that a favor except, it’s City.

Speaking of Arse-senal (See what I did there?) Emmanuel Frimpong will be allowed to negotiate with other clubs in January, seeing as though his contract is running out.

Newcastle have been eyeing Lille’s Mathieu Debuchy “Like a bashful teenager trying to pluck up the courage to ask for a date” as The Guardian puts it.

Blackpool’s Tom Ince has been watched by Tottenham, Newcastle, and, Manchester United.

Since we’re on the Red Devils, United are prepared to make a £12 million bid for Celtic’s Victor Wanyama. (I personally endorse this move) United are also prepared to make the same bid for Stoke City’s Ryan Shawcross (Sounds like a bad backup plan to me) Random fact: If either of these transfers go through, it will be the first time United has purchased a central midfielder since 1993.

This just in, Arsenal have given up, Bacary Sagna is going to Internazionale.

452′s EPL Previews: Day One

May just seems so long ago, doesn’t it?

So the Olympics are finally over in London and we can all get back to not watching NBC at all and not caring about sports like dressage and water polo. As an added bonus, the English Premier League is back this week! Rejoice, one and all! This season brings all manner of new diversions to get excited about: the Manchester Arms Race! Swanseapool! Fat Sam! The rebirth of AVB!

Here at Four Five Two, we hope to discuss all these things and more in an epic four day blogathon of season previews. Lots were cast, and today’s group fell to me. Hit the jump for my pearls of wisdom regarding Arsenal, Chelsea, Fulham, Southampton, and Manchester City. Continue reading →

Row Z: MLS All-Star Game

I will eat a cheese steak in honor of this game.

It’s finally here. The point in the MLS season when everybody takes a short, pointless break so the league’s best players can have a friendly against an EPL club in preseason form. This year, the opponent is Chelsea, who I am begrudgingly obliged to remind you are champions of Europe.

Now, if I had my druthers, I’d do away with this nonsense and just keep the league going. But that will never happen since this game does manage to generate revenue for the league, and you can’t say no to that, right? Besides, these games have often been pretty entertaining. More thoughts after the jump. Continue reading →

Chelsea Signs Guatemala

Chelsea’s ambition stretches far beyond West London.

No, not Guatemalan star Carlos Ruiz. Not even the Guatemalan national team. Chelsea have signed the entire country of Guatemala.

Flush with cash and high on optimism after the club’s Champions League success, Chelsea have signed the nation of Guatemala to a two year contract. Terms of the deal were not disclosed, but estimates have it at around eleventy billion Guatemalan quetzales. That’s roughly the amount of loose change found in the couch cushions on Mr. Abramovich’s super yacht.

Speculation about what exactly the Blues plan on doing with Guatemala is rampant, but here at Four Five Two, we’ve obtained exclusive information. All will be revealed, after the jump. Continue reading →

Fernando Torres’ Livejournal EURO EDITION

In my dreams, I can soar like a bird. A pouting, overpaid, spoiled bird.

Song: Screaming Infidelities – Dashboard Confessional

Mood: Inevitable dread

A black hole is a spatial anomaly with a gravitational pull from which no light can escape. It is also the perfect analogy for my life right now. I try my hardest and do everything I can to make him happy, but nothing is good enough to escape the gravitational pull of my despair. I think he’s going to leave me … on the bench.

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