Row Z: InterLULZ

I “borrowed” this pic from MLS.

Hey, there’s not much club football being played this weekend, but there’s plenty of international fixtures to feast on. Some of them are even meaningful, like USA’s away qualifier against Jamaica tonight. Won’t you please come down from your ivory tower into the comments and bless us with your pearls of wisdom? Oh, and if you’ve got beIN Sport USA at your house, post your address so we can all come over. We’ll bring the beer. Promise.

Semi-not-at-all-complete fixture list after the jump. Continue reading

Row Z: Champions League Draw

Ballz.

AKA Gunners commiseration and weeping thread, amirite? Well, at least they’ve got a ball in the pot, unlike their spudsy neighbors. Oookaaay, now that I’ve pissed off most of north London, this is a quick and dirty post to provide a place for folks to comment on the group stage draw for this year’s UEFA Champions League tournament. Follow the draw here, or someplace on TV, or get possibly erroneous information from Twitter. But do come back here to mock the misfortunes of those clubs doomed to an early exit. The show starts at 11:45 Eastern America time. List of clubs in each pot after the jump. Continue reading

View From Row Z: Season Premier

So we were kind of slacking last weekend, but here is your Row Z for the second weekend of EPL action. I  really want to know who picked Swansea – West Ham for ESPN2. That guy is going to be fired before halftime. United – Fulham would be interesting if Dempsey was playing, but he isn’t. Sunday is a little more interesting when city plays Lolpool, and Arsenal takes on Stoke. It is possible the RS could have 0 points from the first two games, but I mustn’t get my hopes up. Enjoy the matches and behave in the comments. Full schedule after the jump.

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Row Z: FIFA Ruins Everything

♫Hey, I just met you..♫ “Hmm.. Sepp like.”

There’s a huge glut of international friendlies scheduled today as part of FIFA’s official match date for August. This has obviously pissed off everyone in any way related to an EPL club that has had players called up, and rightly so. Arsenal alone stands to lose 5-6 players due to injury today.

Fortunately, Blatter & Co have seen the light and I have it on good authority (twitter) that the August FIFA date is going away for good. I’m sure Sepp reminded everyone that he has mega-yacht payments due every month, not just in months when there’s a FIFA date and he gets his cash-stuffed envelope. In the end, though, he was forced to relent. Continue reading

Row Z: MLS All-Star Game

I will eat a cheese steak in honor of this game.

It’s finally here. The point in the MLS season when everybody takes a short, pointless break so the league’s best players can have a friendly against an EPL club in preseason form. This year, the opponent is Chelsea, who I am begrudgingly obliged to remind you are champions of Europe.

Now, if I had my druthers, I’d do away with this nonsense and just keep the league going. But that will never happen since this game does manage to generate revenue for the league, and you can’t say no to that, right? Besides, these games have often been pretty entertaining. More thoughts after the jump. Continue reading

Row Z: USWNT in Glasgow

Excellent.

The Games of the XXX Olympiad (not pr0n… yet) are underway as we speak with the start of the women’s soccer tournament. The Team GB women (which may feature the Spice Girls for all I know) take on the Kiwi girls from New Zealand while we all wait for the main course, USWNT v France at high noon. I know next to nothing about women’s soccer, but I’m guessing we can beat the Frenchies.

After that, there’s Japan v Canada, Brazil v Cameroon, Sweden v South Africa, and Colombia v North Korea. You can watch all of it live on TV and here.

Row Z: Euro 2012 Final

It seems the mid-Atlantic heat wave has knocked out power at the 452 skunkworks. Since it’s pretty impossible to liveblog a game by candlelight, we’re putting up this open thread so you can offer us your pearls of wisdom on this match.

By now you should be familiar with the lineups. Rest assured that both Iker and Buffon will be key today, and the Spaniards will try to suck the life out of the game (and put us all to sleep) with their tiki taka passathon. Personally, I’m hoping for an Azzurri win, and dreading a scoreless draw that goes to penalties.

Enjoy the game, folks. It may be the last meaningful soccer you’ll see for weeks.

Euro 2012 View From Row Z: Ukraine – Sweden Edition

The second host nation is already underway in their match against the blonde bombshells. Unfortunately all of us have to work/ do important things today, so here is a little gathering for everyone. If you are able to chronicle the action in the comments, those of us without tv would greatly appreciate it. Lineups below

Ukraine: Pyatov, Gusev, Mykhalyk, Khacheridi, Selin, Yarmolenko, Tymoschuk, Konoplianka, Nazarenko, Voronin, Shevchenko.

Sweden: Isaksson, Lustig, Mellberg, Granqvist, Martin Olsson, Elm, Kallstrom, Larsson, Ibrahimovic, Toivonen, Rosenberg.

Subs:

Ukraine: Koval, Kucher, Garmash, Aliev, Shevchuk, Rakitskiy, Butko, Goryainov.

Sweden: Wiland, Svensson, Jonas Olsson, Antonsson, Wernbloom, Safari, Holmen, Hansson.

The View From Row Z: We’re All Fat Geordies Today

He’s livin’ the dream.

Okay, City fans are of course not pulling for Toon this morning, but the rest of us are. A draw would be just lovely! I suppose now’s the time to confess it’s been a recent lifelong dream of mine to be a fatass Newcastle fan, taking up two seats at St James’ Park while double-fisting kegs of the finest brown ale. That’s the life. It doesn’t hurt that the Magpies’ play has been extremely watchable this year.

There’s a full slate of Premier League matches this morning, with Newcastle teeing off first against Manchester City. United fans will no doubt be following that result with bated breath as they prepare to face Swansea.

There’s some other interesting stuff going on as well, such as a very consequential Milan derby that could see Inter knocked out of European competition next season and Milan back in the driver’s seat for the Scudetto (depending on Juve’s result against Cagliari). Mostly full fixture list after the jump.
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FA Cup Final Row Z: Window Dressing

Ooh, fancy program.

Before we get to my brief dissertation on the goings-on at Wembley today, let’s note that The Deuce has deigned to show Arsenal v. Norwich City this morning, to the delight of sleep-deprived Gooners and Canaries everywhere.

So, either Chelsea or Liverpool will lift some hardware today. It’s quite interesting to me that the managers of both clubs need this cup win badly to keep their bosses from being overly upset about the mediocre league results. Two teams hoping the shiny glare of the FA Cup will make up for the other unpleasantness. King Kenny is hoping two cups will be enough to distract John Henry and co. from the fact that Liverpool will not take any part in European competition next season, and may well finish the year a spot below derby rivals Everton. Meanwhile, for Roberto Di Matteo, this is Phase 1 of his “Coffee is for Closers” plan to convince Roman Abramovich that he’s a winner who deserves to still have a job at the end of this month. Phase 2 will roll out in Munich later this month.

More match listings (including MLS!) after the jump.
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