Dimi’s “Blue Steel” face.
Happy trails to Dimitar “Mittens” Berbatov, who is reportedly headed to Fiorentina. Dimi’s been surplus to requirements at Old Trafford for some time now, even more so with the arrival of Van Persie, and he’s been looking for a way out all summer. The Italian club is looking to solidify their offense in a bid to get into the coveted European cup spots in Serie A.
Of course, here at FourFiveTwo, we know the real reason Dimi wants to go to Florence: getting in on the ground floor of the fashion industry.
It’s no secret that Berba loves the metrosexy ladies man clothes. He’s the Bulgarian CR7. He’d much rather spend an afternoon at the Boggi store trying on open-buttoned silk shirts than doing pesky stuff like training or scoring goals. This move to Florence finally gives him a chance to do what he really enjoys.
A favorite indulgence of Berba’s is fine Italian hair grease. No Bulgarian since Stoichkov has rocked the slicked-back look quite so well. It also helps with aerodynamics on the fashion runway soccer pitch, enhancing Berba’s smooth, languid movements. Continue reading
♫Ay, ay, ay, ay! Canta y no llores!♫
A quick look at our site stats suggests most of you sick, sick readers are only here for Aaron Ramsey scat pr0n, pics of “elokobi body”, and the “cyprus fantasy premier league code”. So you probably don’t expect to find quality insights and hard-hitting journalism here. However, one of our intrepid sources managed to score some face time last night at the cantina over cheladas with none other than Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez. We’ve got an exclusive transcript of what the Little Pea had to say, after the jump. Continue reading
Independiente fans doing their thing.
Clearly, the fixture gods of South American footie care not for opening weekend of the English Premier League, much to my chagrin. Instead of covering one clásico for you this week, I’ve got to run down three. So find a comfy chair, grab a cup of coffee, and settle in. We’re headed to Sao Paulo, Brazil, first. Continue reading
♫Hey, I just met you..♫ “Hmm.. Sepp like.”
There’s a huge glut of international friendlies scheduled today as part of FIFA’s official match date for August. This has obviously pissed off everyone in any way related to an EPL club that has had players called up, and rightly so. Arsenal alone stands to lose 5-6 players due to injury today.
Fortunately, Blatter & Co have seen the light and I have it on good authority (twitter) that the August FIFA date is going away for good. I’m sure Sepp reminded everyone that he has mega-yacht payments due every month, not just in months when there’s a FIFA date and he gets his cash-stuffed envelope. In the end, though, he was forced to relent. Continue reading
May just seems so long ago, doesn’t it?
So the Olympics are finally over in London and we can all get back to not watching NBC at all and not caring about sports like dressage and water polo. As an added bonus, the English Premier League is back this week! Rejoice, one and all! This season brings all manner of new diversions to get excited about: the Manchester Arms Race! Swanseapool! Fat Sam! The rebirth of AVB!
Here at Four Five Two, we hope to discuss all these things and more in an epic four day blogathon of season previews. Lots were cast, and today’s group fell to me. Hit the jump for my pearls of wisdom regarding Arsenal, Chelsea, Fulham, Southampton, and Manchester City. Continue reading
Fans bring the heat to the shipyard derby.
Time to expand your knowledge of South American clásicos a bit more. This week we’re heading to hot, humid Guayaquil, Ecuador. Although the Ecuadorian league is perhaps not the most prestigious in South America, some of the bigger clubs do occasionally find success in continental cups (LDU “Liga” Quito being the shining example). This Sunday, the league features its biggest rivalry: El Clásico del Astillero (the Shipyard Derby), Barcelona SC v Emelec. Continue reading
It’s not a South American clasico without massive amounts of toilet paper.
Paraguay might as well be a distant planet for most of us, but despite being a landlocked, oft-forgotten country in the middle of South America, they play some pretty good footie there. Soccer’s history in Paraguay goes back nearly as far as anywhere else on the continent and boasts some of its most successful clubs (and some amazing players, too).
The biggest derby in Paraguay is the Súperclásico between Cerro Porteño and Olimpia, from the capital city of Asunción. The two clubs meet for the 397th time this Sunday. Let’s dig in. Continue reading
The Citrus Bowl’s aging scoreboard.
I should just show myself out for that headline, but I sat through a Stoke pre-season match in muggy swampass heat and you didn’t, so you’ll have to indulge the bad pun. The thing is, Orlando rarely gets to see any Premier League clubs, or any European clubs, for that matter. I think Bolton came here last summer, and you know I wasn’t going to go see that. But when my kid’s local soccer club offered discounted end zone tickets and a chance to get on the pitch, I figured what the hey. A rundown and amateur pix after the jump. Continue reading
Santa Fe fans fly a huge flag.
Hey, I’m back with a second edition of Know Thy Classics, and even though most of us are probably catching Olympic fever right now, I’d be remiss if I didn’t alert you to another great South American derby. This one isn’t the biggest derby in Colombia, but it’s the main clásico for the capital city of Bogotá: Millonarios v. Independiente Santa Fe.
A lot of South American leagues seem to be frontloading their league fixtures with derbies, perhaps to generate interest early, and Colombia is no different. These two rivals square off in Week 1 of the Liga Postobón (which is a soft drink brand, in case you’re wondering) on Sunday night. Continue reading
I will eat a cheese steak in honor of this game.
It’s finally here. The point in the MLS season when everybody takes a short, pointless break so the league’s best players can have a friendly against an EPL club in preseason form. This year, the opponent is Chelsea, who I am begrudgingly obliged to remind you are champions of Europe.
Now, if I had my druthers, I’d do away with this nonsense and just keep the league going. But that will never happen since this game does manage to generate revenue for the league, and you can’t say no to that, right? Besides, these games have often been pretty entertaining. More thoughts after the jump. Continue reading