Bad Fantasy Advice: U Mlad Bro?

Fantasy Dream Team – Week 1. If you have three Fulham players in your squad, you’re probably not very good at this game.

When we made our fantasy teams last week, most of us were just shooting in the dark. How can you really build a title winning fantasy side if you haven’t seen anyone play? Can anyone really say ahead of time whether Robin van Persie will have a better season than Marouane Chamakh? It’s too close to call. So we all did our best and slapped together a squad assembled largely from guesswork, homer bias, and duct tape.

But hindsight is 20/20, and after this weekend’s matches, I think it’s safe to say we have a pretty good idea what to expect from the rest of the season. After the jump, I’ll share with you the keen fantasy insights I gleaned from the first round of games and tell you just who you absolutely must buy if you want to stand a chance at winning this thing.

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FourFiveTwo’s Fantasy Bonanza

Amazingly, it was once actually a good idea to include Andy Carroll in your fantasy team.

(I’m reposting this from a few days ago to remind you bastards to sign up and play some fantasy footy)

In just a few days, real soccer will finally return. Sure we’ve all had fun distracting ourselves with the Euros and the Olympics, but ultimately that’s all bullshit. The Premier League is where it’s at and now that it’s coming back we can stop deluding ourselves that watching under-23 teams play in a meaningless competition is actually interesting.

To celebrate the return of our favorite pastime, FourFiveTwo has decided to spice it up with the FourFiveTwo Fantasy Bonanza! We all had a lot of fun this summer with our fantasy Euro league, so we figured we might as well give it another shot for the upcoming season.

The EPL starts on Saturday, so I assume you need to get your shit together and register a team by Friday. Or maybe Saturday morning. Honestly, I have no idea about the details. I can’t say I’ve really looked into that closely.

URL:  http://fantasy.premierleague.com/

Code to Join: 550637-246076

Every year I get super excited about having a fantasy team, but after the first few weeks of the season I can’t be bothered. But not this year. After destroying all of you on my march to lifting the title in our Euro league this summer, I’ve developed a taste for victory. You’re all welcome to try and dethrone me, but if you come at the king, you best not miss.

Good luck, everyone! Feel free to share your lineups in the comments.